


The Heart of the TARDIS

by BlackFury



Series: Forever- Grace Holloway and the Eighth Doctor [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 01:30:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackFury/pseuds/BlackFury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Up until the Ninth Doctor, the TARDIS had been his time machine, his mode of transport and a help but, not much else.  Yes, she was sentient but, she was mostly in the background.  However, with the Ninth Doctor, something happened to change all of that and it happened before he met Rose.  The TARDIS, somehow, gained a soul, began to do things almost without being asked to do them.  What changed?  This is my idea of how the Heart of the TARDIS came to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The heart of the TARDIS Beginning

It was over, she knew that. She had known what would happen when she stepped in front of him, shielding him with herself but, it hadn't mattered to her then. All that mattered was that he had been safe. She remembered helping him into the TARDIS so that he could regenerate, continue to live.

She had collapsed on the floor, her physician's mind knowing what was happening to her body but, she didn't care, she just knew he had to be safe. She did spare a moment to regret that she had never told him about the child, their child, conceived out of their love for each other that would now never be born.

She had watched his regeneration begin. The man she loved was dying and would be replaced by a stranger, a man she would never know. Finally, her body, ravaged by pain collapsed and she breathed her last breath with the word, "Doctor". Then, there was silence.

She opened her eyes and looked down at herself. She had heard of out of body experiences but she had always scoffed, being the trained, logical physician that she was but now, she knew the truth. She was spirit now and she watched. She now saw what he looked like. She smiled but it wasn't 'her' Doctor.

She cried when he found her body. He cried, railed at fate and then, he discovered she had been pregnant with their child and he cried all the more. He sat on the floor holding her against him for what seemed like a long time and then he got up, set the TARDIS controls and took her to her final resting place.

She hovered near, wondering if he knew she was there with him. She didn't want to leave him, she wanted to be near him, always. She had promised on their wedding day that she would be with him forever. She watched him as he talked to his friend and she heard things he had never said, about how much she meant to him. She watched his face and then, she saw it, his eyes, they had not changed, they were still the same warm, loving eyes she had known but, now, they were hard, cold, ravaged with pain and grief.

She watched her own funeral, a very surreal experience for her then, she followed to the grave site. She was so pleased with the place he had chosen for her. The tree underneath which her body would lie was a magnificent one. He had remembered what she had said about trees, how much she loved them then, the burial.

He stood there for the longest, almost like a statue himself, staring down at the mounded earth. She saw the headstone and smiled then, he headed for the TARDIS. She panicked for a moment. Her body had been consigned to the ground but she was still here. Then, quick as a thought, she was back inside, with him. He didn't know she was there and she remembered him saying that he didn't believe in ghosts.

She smiled, wondering what he would think if he could know that ghosts were real. She was content to just watch, to see him as he went about his life, admittedly a sad and lonely one now and she saw anger, so much anger and grief in him now and it made her cry. 

One night, as he tried to sleep, he heard what sounded like crying. He sat up, wondering where it was coming from. He climbed out of the bed. He had had the TARDIS change that bed after Grace's death, he couldn't sleep in that bed anymore, it held too many warm, loving memories. He pulled on his jacket and walked into the control room.

It had changed greatly when he had regenerated. The library was back in the back and the old, Victorian era splendor was gone, replaced by all of this steel and chrome. It matched his mood now, it was cold, functional, like him. He looked around but, the crying had stopped. He was puzzled, it had almost sounded like....no, he wouldn't think about that, he couldn't, not yet. It still hurt too much. He went back to bed.

End Part One


	2. Joining

After the Doctor returned to his room, Grace hovered over the console. Something was calling her from inside the console! Grace reached out a cautious hand but, she knew she couldn't touch anything. Surprisingly, at least to her, her hand went through the console! She jerked it back then, she tried again.

This time, when her hand went through, she let the rest of her follow. She found herself surrounded by swirling shapes and a golden yellow color, the color he turned when he regenerated. She looked and then, she heard a voice, female, coming from the colors, "Grace, you love him, I know that. I wish I could but, I can't, I don't have that capacity within me but, You never want to leave him, do you?"

Grace smiled softly, "No, I don't, he needs to be loved in the worst way. It's the one thing he needs more than anything else." The Time Vortex spoke to her, "Grace, join with me. We can become one and he'll never really be alone. I know it's not what you had before but you would always be with him. You could give me what I've always wanted, a soul. You would become my heart."

Grace listened and, given the choice, she wasn't about to leave him. She smiled and let herself be pulled into the vortex. She saw everything then, in beautiful shining detail. She saw him from the beginning, she saw each subsequent incarnation. She watched him with his different companions, saw how he held himself aloof, away, just allowing friendships but nothing else, until her.

She still didn't understand what it was about her that had been so different but, he had done something he had never done before. He came back for her. He needed her and he had come back to find her. She watched their travels, the day he proposed to her and all that had happened since through the eyes of the TARDIS. She again saw his grief when he found her lifeless body and saw the cold, hard man he had become, no laughter, no love, only grief, anger and pain.

Grace settled into her new existence, her new life and he didn't know, even when TARDIS began to anticipate his wishes, providing things he wanted before he could ask. Then, he met Rose. Grace wasn't jealous, why should she be? She watched everything about the battle with the Nestene Consciousness. When the Autons had grabbed him, not letting him go, she felt so helpless and she reached out, almost blindly and somehow, her consciousness met Rose's. She looked and saw what was there and gave Rose a nudge.

Suddenly, Rose remembered her bronze in gymnastics and grabbed the rope. Then, He and Rose and Mickey were inside and she took them to safety. She laughed out loud when she saw Mickey's reaction and the Doctor looked up at the ceiling abruptly then shook his head muttering, "I must be hearing things." He had heard that laugh, like silver bells across water and for a moment, he remembered then, the mask returned.

He stopped and let them out. Rose said she'd stay and the Doctor walked back into the TARDIS and left. Grace wanted to throttle him! She had seen that Rose was unique, literally one of a kind. Then, he had a thought, placed there by Grace and he went back and told Rose, "It also travels in time." With that, Rose Tyler had rushed into the TARDIS and came along for the ride. Grace was pleased, he wasn't alone now.

End Part Two


	3. The Creation of the Bad Wolf

Rose and the Doctor traveled many different places and Grace watched as Rose reacted like a wondering child, taking in every new planet, asking question after question but never inane ones, always intelligent questions and the Doctor answered with infinite patience. Grace smiled, listening to him patiently explain things she didn't understand. She was different from other companions in that she did listen, and learn from what she heard and saw.

Then, they appeared on Satellite Five. It turned out to be a huge game station watched by every living person on planet Earth. There were shows Grace and Rose recognized, futuristic versions of "The Weakest Link," where the loser was, literally vaporized. There was "Big Brother", which hadn't changed all that much, and several that neither Rose nor Grace had ever seen before.

Grace saw them first, Daleks. When the Doctor saw the fleet, his face hardened, the spark of laughter that was in his eyes died. Then, they met another game contestant, a Captain Jack Harkness, someone they had met before in WW II era London. When the production staff, the Doctor, Rose and Jack met on the top level, The Doctor began pulling out cables, talking about what he was going to do and Grace, inside the TARDIS, gasped. Jack figured it out then and the Doctor talked about the Delta Wave.

Jack went off with some of the station personnel to try to recruit some more citizens as the Doctor and Rose began working on the Delta Wave. He knew, Grace could see it, that the wave would kill everything in it's path, including him. She knew about the Emergency program he had created for Rose. Then, he tricked Rose inside the TARDIS and went back out, supposedly to activate the machine but, once out, he used the sonic screwdriver to lock the doors and activate the time rotor. Rose was screaming as the TARDIS de materialized.

Grace knew what he was doing, she had seen his face and he didn't care anymore. He wanted the pain, anger and grief to stop. Right now, there was nothing Grace could do but, as soon as they landed, she already had a plan in mind. Rose was screaming "Take me back! Take me back!" The Emergency program was activated and Rose heard him tell her what this meant. She and Grace knew he was right, no one, especially the Daleks, could be allowed to possess the TARDIS. Rose was still screaming to be taken back but Grace couldn't, not yet. 

Once the TARDIS landed, Rose had gone off with Mickey and Jackie, Rose's mom. Grace however, was making plans already. She managed to reach Rose's mind, reminding her of the time the Slyveen had boarded the TARDIS and the control panel had opened, revealing what the Doctor called "The Heart of the TARDIS". The Slyveen had attacked Rose and Mickey but when that panel opened, they were driven away.

What Rose heard in her mind was to get that panel open and she could save the Doctor. She fairly flew back to the TARDIS, Mickey and her mother following her. Rose attacked the panel but could not pry it open. Then, they tried a long chain attached to the back of Mickey's small car but, that didn't work either. Finally, Jackie went off and returned with a huge Rescue truck. Rose was inside as Mickey revved the engines. Jackie stood just outside the TARDIS, urging Mickey on until, finally, the panel popped open.

The chain was pulled out of the TARDIS and then, Grace slammed the doors shut as Rose began looking into the golden vortex. The winds began swirling and Grace smiled. The vortex entered through Rose's eyes and she heard things she had never heard before. The TARDIS was singing. Then, Rose heard a voice, a woman's voice. "Hello Rose."

"Hello? Who are you?" "I'm the heart of the TARDIS, Rose. My name used to be Grace. I died." Rose's eyebrows climbed into her hair, "What?" Grace smiled, "My Name was Grace Holloway. I met the Doctor in his eighth incarnation, before this one." Rose nodded, "I see, were you his companion?" Grace smiled, "Oh, Rose, I was so much more than that, I was his wife."

Rose was stunned. "His wife? He never talks about you." Grace's voice was sad, "I know, the pain of losing me is still too fresh in his mind, you see, the Time War was what caused him to regenerate and I was one of the last casualties of that war. I saved him but, he couldn't save me and that preys on his mind." She told Rose about that last battle, how he had been injured beyond her capacity as a physician to repair. They both knew regeneration was coming. She told how she had shielded him with her own body when a weakened but still dangerous Dalek had fired at him.

"I caught the blast in my back and I knew I was dying but, his safety was more important. We got inside and when he got to the console, I collapsed. I watched him for as long as I could as his regeneration started then, I died. He found me and his grief was hard to watch. Later, the TARDIS invited me to join with her. You see, she is sentient but, she didn't really have a heart or soul and I had promised him I would never leave so, it was a logical decision. We joined. Now, we have to save him, are you ready?" Rose nodded. Grace spoke again, "One thing, Rose Tyler, all he wants, really, is to love and be loved, he needs to be loved so much, love him, please, love him. Now, here we go."

The TARDIS materialized behind the Doctor and he turned in shock from where he had been facing the Daleks. The doors flew open and golden tendrils of the vortex were seen as Rose/TARDIS came out the door. She stood there, looking at him. He asked her what she had done and she smiled when she told him. He was angry and worried. A Dalek fired at her but, she raised her hand and the beam was forced back then, she looked down at him and said something that wasn't Rose, "I want you safe, My Doctor."

His eyes widened, only one person had ever called him, "My Doctor". His mind was racing, how had Rose known that then he his eyes widened, she had merged with the TARDIS. Then, Rose raised her arms and the Daleks were wiped out of time and space. The Time War was finally over. Then, he got to his feet and Rose looked at him, "How can I let go of this? I bring life." Grace felt it when Jack Harkness came back. This was unexpected. Then, The Doctor kissed Rose and did something Grace hadn't expected, he drew the vortex into himself.

Grace was railing, "You fool, you'll kill yourself." Then, she brushed against his mind and he heard one word, "Forever." He frowned then concentrated on expelling the vortex back into the TARDIS. He carried Rose back inside and the TARDIS took off. Grace saw the golden glow building before he did and she smiled sadly, Rose was losing her Doctor. When his regeneration began, he felt a familiar touch against his mind. "Grace?" He whispered and she smiled as she replied, "I'm here my love, we promised 'Forever' and I meant it. I'm here, always. You're not alone anymore. Love her, if you can."

His regeneration continued and Grace knew, he would always be the man she loved more than life itself. She had come back to be with him again. She was as he had always called her, "His Angel."

The End


End file.
